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Jennifer Ellison.

My God, where do i start?

I tolerated the abysmal manufactured trash which was her cover version of Transvision Vamp's 'Baby I Don't Care', but now, she really does deserve to be punished. We get this pathetic image of Ellison plastered all across the media of how she's a nice sensitive girl who hasn't had her tits done (honest) and wants all those nasty scouse lowlives to leave her and her good wholesome boyfriend alone. Fine. I can live with all that bullshit. What i can't stand is her abysmal recording career.

The dismal faux-rock she has been told to 'perform' by her management is hideous. The scrawny rent-a-dopehead models in the video look less credible that Robert Palmer's ensemble in the 'Addicted to Love' video. And then they trash the set so they can have a painfully choreographed dance! Because thats what all hardcore rock girls do, isn't it?!? And they look pretty and sultry for their record covers, don't they?!? And they all sing songs with tired cliches, don't they?!? Bye Bye Boy? For fucks sake, i've heard more credible teenage angst on Radio 4.

The whole marketing of the single is wrong. Rock bands don't back up their songs with rent-a-dj remixes, yet that is what the CD is full of. Everything about Ellison's music career blows goats in a massive way and the sooner she gets dropped in the next record company spring cleaning exercise, the better. At least then, i'll be able to get back to ridiculing Avril Lavigne with some real sincerity because its impossible at the moment.

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